Jill Duggar is Pregnant and Y’all Think She’s Crazy

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Source: People Magazine

Today we found out that Derick and Jill (Duggar) Dillard are expecting their first child. And, as is expected, the haters have spoken. Naturally, we would expect those that loathe the Duggar clan to speak out on this surprising (but, not so surprising) news. I’ve read everything from “They probably didn’t wait until they were married to have sex…it seems too close.” to the standard “They’re crazy” “Who cares?” “Why is this news?”, etc.

I’ve also read a lot of comments from fellow Christians. And their attitude is frankly, uncalled for.

“She should’ve waited until she got to know her husband better.”
“They shouldn’t have rushed into having kids.”
“They will regret not enjoying married life for a while before having kids.”
etc., etc., etc.,….

I’m sure, at one point or another, some of these Christians have followed Hollywood celebrities and swooned over this or that pregnancy. Brad and Angelina, Tom and Katie, Beyonce’ and Jay-Z, any of the Kardashian sisters, I mean I could go on and on at how celebrated and anticipated these babies were. Nine times out of ten, you have these babies being born into these Hollywood lifestyles with unmarried, uncommitted parents.

So, I must say to those who have only thought negatively over this particular “celebrity” pregnancy announcement: You’re being ridiculous. No, really. This is, after all, the natural order of things. Or, at least it shouldbe. God intended for couples to refrain from sexual immorality, to find a mate of the opposite sex, marry, and then, God-willing, start a family.

Jill and Derick did it the right way, God’s way. And while most of the world would love to criticize that way of things, we, as Christians, should stand in support of the way they have chosen to honor God. We shouldn’t be the ones commenting negatively and critically on these sites and blogs about their pregnancy.

Mike and I became pregnant soon after marriage. We don’t regret it a bit. We don’t ever wish we would’ve “waited” to get to know one another better. (To which I chuckle, considering we married one another after six years of courtship and a nearly our whole lives as friends).

Let’s stop glorifying the couples that behave immorally and against God’s design. All life is precious no matter the couple, but let’s encourage and praise those couples that do follow God’s will. Let’s congratulate Jill and Derick on their blessing from God.

Congrats, Derick and Jill! We are wishing you a healthy pregnancy and many blessings as you grow your family!

The difference between your ignorance and mine {Part2}

This morning, while in the shower, it’s inevitable that my best thinking happens here. It’s really the place where most of my writings are birthed as there are no distractions found there sans the soothing calm of the falling water.

It’s there, that I felt I wasn’t done with this post. I felt God leading me to write more. So here I am. Part two of yesterday’s, unavoidably controversial post.

I really wanted to expound on “the better way” I was referring to in that post (in regards to the use of birth control to prevent pregnancy). Because there are simply better ways to prevent pregnancy than to use toxic drugs that our bodies weren’t made to handle.

This isn’t a plug to God-led fertility, although, I’ve personally found that to be the most freeing and wonderful reproductive choice. This is to encourage you to seriously consider the better ways to prevent pregnancy.

It’s been almost 7 years now since I had our first and only miscarriage so far that I am aware. I know exactly what happened to that baby too. I was on the pill, it had been 9 months since having Hunter, when I “felt” pregnant. I felt it enough to run to the store and buy that 3 pack of tests to make extra sure I wasn’t just losing my mind.

All three came up positive on the day I was supposed to get my period. Since the beginning of my motherhood experience was filled with depression and anxiety with my Hunter just months prior, I wasn’t exactly over the moon with the results. I was scared. I was scared of round 2 with this little person and I was super scared to tell my husband. Back then, he was content with having just one child and would’ve been happy if we stopped there. I can’t say that my attitude was far off, because I really couldn’t imagine having another experience with another baby like I initially had with Hunter.

But something didn’t feel right this time…I told Mike we were expecting, but I felt like something was wrong a few days later. Sure enough, about four days after the first times I took the tests, I retested. Negative. I went to the doctor for a blood test. Negative. They sent me for an ultrasound at a local hospital to confirm. Miscarriage. And it wasn’t but a few days afterwards that I began to cramp and bleed heavily.

You see, after barely making it thru week 5 if the pregnancy, I knew it was my fault. I did some research and confirmed that the pill I was taking had aided in aborting that precious life. Life was created, so ovulation had occurred as had fertilization so prevention 1 and 2 of my oral contraceptive had failed. Prevention number 3, worked. Obviously that little life couldn’t find a place to burrow and grow because that little pill had made a big mess of my endometrium.

This baby has a name: Grace. And I will meet this child someday. But with regret, I think of this child daily. There was a better way to prevent pregnancy. A better way that I had never been exposed to.

Natural Family Planning

Most of us want a mindless way to prevent pregnancy. And to that I say that anything worth doing should be done according to Gods Word and it won’t always be the “quick fix”. Natural Family Planning, when used properly, can be a very effective way to prevent pregnancy.

http://americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/fertilityawarenessnfp.html

It takes some practice and diligence at first, but it can be as effective as much as 90% in preventing pregnancy. It’s also free from any side effects and costs nothing. It aides in marital communication and is in line with Gods Word. He says that when we are mutually agreed to avoid sex during a time, we should bathe that time in prayer and come back together quickly to avoid separation.

5 Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.
I Corinthians 7:5

Condoms and non-hormonal barrier methods

I know condoms aren’t convenient and may sometimes spoil the mood, but it’s a much better option than any method that requires little to no thought. I encourage you to seek these methods when you are strongly considering preventing pregnancy. While these methods are non fool-proof, consider that neither is any method of birth control. The only 100% way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence.

With these methods, women won’t have to struggle with a lack of desire for their husbands. Women won’t have to wonder if they will cause themselves to acquire cancer or any other ailments with the birth control they’ve chosen. With these methods, communication with the spouse is encourage, life isn’t getting expelled unknowingly, and Gods Word isn’t being disobeyed.

Please don’t remain ignorant of this subject just to avoid another child. Your health isn’t worth it. Your unborn child’s life isn’t worth it. Nothing is worth the risk that birth control so sneakily promotes.

The difference between your ignorance and mine.

I’ve been told I’m ignorant multiple times from people I would consider to be ignorant themselves.

Particularly and specifically in regards to my pro-life stance on all aspects of reproduction.

I’ve been told I’m ignorant because I’m for abolishing abortion, I’m for reducing teen pregnancy, but yet I do not support the use of contraceptives.

My stance has evolved over the years thanks to a deeper understanding of how contraception works, it’s history and intention, and (most importantly) what God has to say on the issue in His Word.

Now, you won’t find the word “contraception” in the Bible, so don’t even try. But what you will find is consistent, unwavering evidence on how God wants us to treat our bodies, honor sex (His idea, His creation, by the way), and His heart on all human life.

God: on sex, human life and our bodies

I Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Anytime we consent to share our bodies sexually with another, we are becoming one flesh. The Bible states that only those who are married should engage in anything sexual. Why? Because marriage is a vow between God and man and is the ultimate human commitment. Only husband and wife should be privileged enough to become one on a regular basis. God knows there is (or should be, rather) a grand picture of everlasting love between married couples that mirrors His own love for us as humans.

Jeremiah 31:3
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

Furthermore, anything we do or put into our bodies, we are held accountable for. The truth of the matter is, contraception (oral, IUD, patches, implants, shots, etc) are poison to our bodies. Not only that, but they ALL, I repeat ALL have abortifacient qualities that even science has confirmed, the pharmaceutical companies know about, and most likely your doctor will either lie or be ignorant about.

http://www.lifeissues.org/abortifacients/

That page will list for you all commonly used forms of birth control and describe the function of all. Notice all have a third function in case the other two fail. The third function of all these forms includes making the endometrium inhospitable to the growing embryo so implantation cannot take place. This is abortifacient. Science knows life begins the moment of conception. The very second that sperm meets that egg, life bursts into being and begins growing and multiplying. It’s epic journey to find a home in the lining of the uterus begins soon after. But this life will die, yes die, if it cannot find a suitable place to burrow.

I cringe thinking of the time I took one of these forms and being so vocal about the atrocity of abortion and un- married pregnancies. Little did I know then, that the time I spent pumping my body with synthetic hormones (which are highly dangerous to women as they are) I may have unknowingly, killed one of my children.

Taking aside the abortifacient properties these drugs poisons should be well known for, we have the issue of putting synthetics into our bodies that readily cause (and have for nearly 5-6 decades) cancers among women. But don’t just take my word for it…
http://healthimpactnews.com/2013/why-birth-control-and-artificially-manipulating-your-hormones-causes-cancer/

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb.

Psalm 139:15-18
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me,[a] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

Psalm 139 cannot be a more beautiful passage. The unimaginable love that God has for us all is both deeper and wider than we could fathom. The thoughts He has for each one of us, even those we would consider the worst among us, outnumbers the grains of sand.

God does not advocate for abortion. And if he were for the use of contraception, in the forms I just highlighted on, what a contradiction that would be! He can’t contradict himself. He’s infinitely good, right, and just.

The difference between your ignorance and mine is that I don’t offer the entire human race a handicap. I don’t believe that we need to look at teenagers, college students, unmarrieds, and the like through broken lenses. We all are accountable for our own actions, like it or not. People can display self control sexually. People can choose to not murder their unborn offspring. People candecide to not consume the poison that they hope will prevent pregnancy, but may end up unknowingly pregnant anyway (and end up aborting their child) through the use of the birth control they so {lustfully} clung to.

To be truly Pro-Life, Pro-women, Pro-Choice (the choices being either adoption or parenting), and Christian is to stand for the health and life of both mother and child in every way. Birth control lovers and Pro-Life Christians are a contradiction.

If you’ve really never fully researched the dangers of contraception and considered how their use doesn’t line up with Scripture, I challenge you to begin your journey with that. It took me almost 6 months as God slowly revealed to me a better way. A way that pleases Him and doesn’t harm my body or any future children He may graciously give.

I’ll leave you with this picture showing how much life God has blessed me with, so far. Maybe then you won’t think I’m so ignorant. But if you still find my position ignorant, and ultimately classify me as ignorant, I’m okay with that. I’m thankfully here to please my God and not man.

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Things I Hate

Up until about eight weeks ago, I took pleasure and loved sharing both my own and others thoughts (blogs, articles, etc) through Facebook.

Most of the time, I would find myself caught up in discussions I didn’t even want to have, nor really had the time to engage in. And since people can’t really see your true intentions behind a post; or they can’t hear, see, and visualize your tone, demeanor, and attitude through a screen; most of the time, I was taken out of context completely.

I’ve found that leaving that part of Facebook alone…using Facebook very seldom anymore and not worrying about if I offended so and so today, it’s been very liberating.

But it doesn’t mean that I’ve left my passions behind me. I may not post about abortion, same-sex marriage, and other societal issues, but they are still passions of mine…amongst others. And while I’ve gone quiet in the social media realm, my heart continues to grow hate and confusion towards a few things. For instance…

I hate the “intolerant/tolerant” agenda

When HGTV cancelled a show yesterday, that they haven’t even aired yet that featured (Christian) twin brothers paying it forward by flipping homes, it didn’t take barely two thoughts to conclude as to why they may have been let go.

To see a minority group such as the liberal/”progressive”/”tolerant”/pro-gay/pro-choice/anti-Christian’s continue to whine and complain and essentially win these unnecessary battles within our entertainment industry and society, as a whole, is really really really disturbing to me.

And since I can’t hold a candle to The Matt Walsh when it comes to articulating this platform so well, I shall refer to this post as a sort of shadow to my own thoughts. It’s rather fabulous.

I hate divorce

While I’ve never personally been a victim of divorce, I have experienced it’s pains through extended family members. I’ve seen two family members in less than two years been deeply hurt by divorce. Just really out of the blue. Nobody saw either coming.

And although I wasn’t directly involved, the pain I have from both situations hasn’t left me. And with each situation, I had the same concluding thought: “it would’ve been less painful if they had just died instead.”

That sounds absolutely terrible, but truly, to see a family member divorce themselves from your family is akin to a real death. Only, this death wasn’t physical in nature…it wasn’t accidental or could’ve been prevented by better choices or a younger age…it was motivated by selfishness and was consciously chosen. It’s a very weird feeling. I know the difference because I’ve lost my grandma to cancer before and her death had a sense of peace and completeness surrounding it. Knowing I would see her again one day, whole and joyful. It was painful, but also peaceful at the same time. Not the same pain as when divorce comes barging in like the Grim Reaper…slinging his sickle at the hearts of his victims.

Your family has a gaping hole in it now and while they go off and live life the way they desire, the family has to pick up the leftovers. You feel insecure too. Maybe in your own marriage. You think “gosh, if it happened to THEM, could it happen to US?!”. I think the only good things that came out of both situations was that I looked at my husband, my own marriage, and I clung tighter. I hugged him longer, listened more intently, encouraged more, prayed more fervently, and sat down and really considered how precious, sacred, and holy marriage must be treated. Not 50/50 by both, but 100/100. Equal, complete effort. I cherish marriage more. What a gift…a precious gift it is. And what a God I serve that hates to see a marriage fail.

I’ve also noticed that more than ever before, it seems like Satan is scrambling about tearing up really good marriages. It’s like his final attempt at creating chaos and complete misery amongst the human race. Especially in the Christian community, marriages fall apart between couples you would never expect, over and over and over again, maybe hundreds and thousands of times a day, each day. Guard. Your. Marriage.

I hate abortion

I hate, with all my heart, the murder of babies in the womb. I hate the justification and liberation and the lies spread to millions of women each day as they kill their own. I hate that our country allows it but protects certain endangered species and certain restricted lands. I hate the double standard that only the worthy and wanted should live…that’s a lie. Every child is wanted, just maybe not wanted by it’s own DNA. I could honestly say that I would take and care for any child about to be aborted and not blink an eye about it. So, they’re wanted. At least by me. Probably by you too.

It’s got to stop.

I hate competition

Growing up, I was never an athlete. I hated organized sports and I cringed anytime we had to play dodgeball with the boys in middle school P.E. I just hated it. I don’t have a competitive bone in my body. And while I believe some competition is good, positive, and healthy, I have never been apart of competition so brutal as when I entered motherhood.

I’m so sick of moms getting their feelings hurt because they see so and so mothering this way and that and “they just can’t/won’t/don’t” and come away offended or defeated.

I’m tired of seeing, what is at times, the largest verbal bloodbath that ever existed. It’s continuous. It takes no prisoners and it’s without remorse. And I’d like to thank the feminist agenda for dividing us so. I’d like to believe that before women started burning their bras and panties, that there was a more united philosophy and community of motherhood. Mothers helping other mothers. Little to no competition. Similar lifestyles and philosophies. Generations helping generations. Now we have generations divided. Countless parenting philosophies and strategies…and more confusion and heartache in motherhood than ever before.

I hate it. I’m sure, at some point, I’ve contributed to the chaos. I’m sure I’ve been caught up in some unnecessary discussions before and I’m sure I walked away none the better for it too. The way I mother shouldn’t offend or bother you. Unless, of course, I was being horrible to my children….but that is so far beyond reality in my world….so you should be okay with my mothering. Sometimes, the fact that I homeschool truly offends people. Sometimes, well, a lot of times, my growing family of almost 7 really lights a fire under their tooshes. And it just seems like unsolicited advice is the only advice a mother seems to get these days.

If she didn’t ask for the advice, don’t give it. Instead, ask if there’s anything you can do for her…or pray for her about. If she takes you up on the offer, you may have just made a new mom friend, instead of a potential mom-enemy. We gotta stop the divisiveness. We’re sensitive creatures to begin with. Let’s build one another up. Mothering is hard enough.

And with that, I sign off. I hate itchy eyes….and typing thru them right now is anything but pleasant.

Love, Alicia

Dated wallpaper and a bath less bathroom.

It seems completely surreal that in 3 more weeks we will be spending the night in our dream home. The amount of time we’ve spent hoping, praying, and talking about the move that never happened…and now everything has moved at lightning speed. It’s hard to believe that we won’t have to anticipate it anymore.

I remember when we first had our home evaluated by the realtor and honestly the only negative he said had to do with the color of our master bedroom walls. The color is a sky blue and he was fearful that the color alone would be enough to scare people away.

I remember laughing because if only prospective buyers could’ve seen the array of colors each room came in when we moved in…I’d say we did them a huge favor by painting it sky blue.

It made me realize that people are super picky and act as though they would have zero time to make a house their own. And, for the record, there were no comments made during any showings about the paint color.

I think about the home that we are moving into, and I know the amount of work it will take to remove obscene amounts of hideous 1995 wallpaper and repaint those walls will be a time consuming task. But I honestly don’t dread it at all. I’m not sure why but when I think of that house right now, all I see is contentment. My children laughing and running about the property. My hubby and I snuggling together on the porch swing. Many nights spent on our deck barbecuing and watching the kids play on the playground. And never having to worry about cars speeding up and down the hill in our neighborhood is going to be a huge relief. Not to mention, the stairs…the fact that this home has no stairs…my heart leaps for joy at the way my kids will be saved from many tumbles and potential ER visits.

I can also overlook the fact that the master bath has no actual bathtub. I am a bath girl. I hate showers, although I’m extremely grateful to even have running water and the privilege a real bathroom is. I think the nit picky things that aren’t ideal about that house are vastly outweighed by the fact that I know God is putting us there. It finally feels like the home we’ve always longed for.

I can’t wait to begin making memories there. And we’ll make awesome memories despite the wallpaper madness and missing bathtub. My stuff isn’t there yet, but my heart already is. We don’t need a fancy 4000 square foot home with two kitchens, five bedrooms and four bathrooms. Most people can’t fathom not having a house like that for a family our size. But I can’t fathom actually having a space like that. A house so large that we all end up in separate spaces. So many bedrooms that we end up missing one another.

I’m sure someday, we’ll have to get super creative with the bedroom situation. But for now, our 3 bedroom home will do just fine. It’s all about being content. Living below your means. Enjoying each other. Basking in the graciousness and mercies of God. Hideous wallpaper and all.

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The case for large families [on purpose]

Allow me to step up onto one of the biggest soapboxes I have. The one where Americans, in general, accept large families, but only under certain criteria. Let me explain…

In our culture, we have become increasingly tolerant of others inhibitions and lack of self-control. Teenagers can’t help but have sex and experiment with drugs and alcohol, adults can’t help but purchase things they cannot otherwise afford, and our lack of commitment to keeping our word and lack of catering to the important instead of the frivolous things in life, are readily understood. Conscience is out and what you feel and what makes you happy is in.

Take famous athletes, for example, it’s not entirely uncommon for these insanely rich “role models” to father 5,6,7…11 or more kids with 4,5,6 different mothers. But it’s cool cause they’re allowed to do so. They’ve got the money, they’ve got the appeal that brings women flocking to their bedroom, and we turn a blind eye because they’re famous, they’re untouchable. They can do no wrong really. So in these cases, large families are cool because these men are “gangster”, “ballers” and “pimps”. And that’s cool. That’s admired. They can’t help themselves…if you are celebrity and you aren’t having sex with multiple people, you’re gonna stand out. Your large family is cool in this case.

Then we have those who aren’t famous, those who think they are Gods gift to women, and women who believe they need a man to fill their bed every lonely moment. Never mind that some are on government assistance and have each had 50-100 sexual partners and 6 kids each that they must get food stamps for. These people can’t control themselves, and at the expense of the taxpayer, continue to procreate and give of themselves sexually as casually as offering someone a piece of gum.

But, that too, is considered acceptable because we can’t honestly expect someone to suppress their sexual desires. It’s ludacris! We are sexual beings and should be able to act on any and every sexual desire that creeps up on us. The more casual sex you have, the wiser you are, the more experienced and appealing you seem. Go for it. Large families are cool in these instances. You couldn’t help it after all.

Then we have the blended family. Divorce is all too common and actually pretty awesome and encouraged in today’s world. You don’t feel anything for your spouse anymore? Easy! Move on… Need a change? Cheat on your spouse… Get a divorce…do what makes you happy. Nobody should really be expected to keep those pesky marriage vows anyway. I mean, how in the world is it reasonable to stay with the same person your entire life anyway?! Nobody does that anymore.

So we get married, have a couple kids, life gets monotonous, one or both bail and seek out some fresh meat. Now, you have a couple kids, so does he/she…you get married and voila! Instant larger than the average American 2.1 kids per couple is born! But, this too, is okay. You couldn’t avoid the risk of a large family in this case. You certainly wouldn’t have chosen it in your original marriage, but you love spouse #2 or #3 so much…and besides, the kids go off to the other parents’ house half the year anyway so they aren’t all your kids all the time. This is okay. Your large family is beautiful because you’ve done what has made you happiest at the expense of the children and other extended family members.

But what about large families on purpose? What about two people, within the bonds of marriage, that decide children are a blessing and would love more than the average 2.1 kids? What about loving married couples who have had 3-4 kids of their own and seek out more children thru adoption? What about these couples that think a large family on purpose is cool? Suddenly, in comparison, these couples are freaks. They’re “crazy” and obviously “don’t know how that works”. These people are questioned about their time, financial state, and space in their home constantly. They get awkward looks in the grocery store and “better you than me” comments regularly.

So, I digress, America does actually accept larger than average families. But only when you “can’t help it”, only when you’re a celebrity, or only when you have the government assisting you.

In my opinion, all children are a blessing no matter how they got here. All life is precious and those families that are blended and adopted and chosen are just as beautiful. But we must stop exalting those who lack self-control and make large families because they love casual sex and don’t think twice about divorce and remarriage. Let’s love and encourage those who chose to have intact, loving, large families and stop making them out to be freakishly irresponsible.

Large families[on purpose] are beautiful.

20140406-135614.jpg one of my favorite large families, The Bates.>

http://amamasstory.com/2014/06/mama-moments-monday-link-2.html

The “Mom” Cave.

as a SAHM, I feel like I live in this cave. The cave that rarely allows any post-pubescant interaction. Its a prehistoric cave…you know the kind with those neato cave drawings and etchings and such that one obviously did while either very bored or alone. That cave. Or theres always the comparison that is similar in principle…the one with Wilson. Yes, Wilson, the volleyball best friend/companion of Tom Hanks’ character in Castaway. Sometimes, I could use that Wilson…and I think the ‘maybe Ill turn my hairbrush or the cloth diaper detergent into my new inanimate object best friend’ thought.

Once you’ve become aware that its been weeks since youve had a real chance to utter more than “i need you to…”‘s and “say youre sorry”‘s its a solemn realization. You begin to question…”is there anyone else out there?” “has it come to this?…am i still human?”. And then comes “the funk…”

No one wants to be in “the funk.” I dread the inwardness and self-loathing that insues. The thoughts that plague your brain that nag you like….like…the voice of Mac Powell from the band Third Day. Its so pitiful. But maybe theres no way else for it to be. After all, when you get to the point where you think, “if I have to do one more thing for somebody else”….”if i hear one more time that Im thirsty as soon as I sit down after being up and about for hours”….”if one more child needs me to wipe their toosh”.

Oh, “the funk”. You kinda are picking on me right now and I dont appreciate it. I really extremely enjoy being what I am but when you show up, you suck the life right outta me. Id really appreciate if youd leave me alone. But for now, I will succumb to your life-sucking powers and wallow in my self-pity and hopefully enjoy a night of being inwardly and outwardly drained. And then sleep will come…but ill probably still wake up in that cave. {Yep, my chances are pretty high.}

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