truthful tuesday: {what motherhood has taught me} pt.1

part one shall begin as thus:

“mother, i’m sorry…”

We all had that moment our first few weeks of college when we looked over at the pile Mt.McKinley [everyone always uses “Everest”…dare to be different, I say] of laundry and suddenly realize, “crap, guess I gotta do this. mom’s not here!” It’s a harrowing realization, but it vastly pales in comparison to that moment soon after you give birth to your firstborn and they’re screaming for the third hour in a row and you haven’t showered in 3 or more days and you forget the most basic things and wonder “i think i birthed my brain in that hospital too!” and think to yourself, “I need my mommy!!! what in the world did I sign up for?!?”

I quickly realized then and am forever reminded now of all the sacrifices my mother made for me. It hits you like nothing else…and you don’t expect it at first, but woah! And you can’t tagteam this thing either. There’s only one mother around here and you’re it! So mom, I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again, I’m sorry for not helping out more when I lived at home. I’m sorry for arguing about stupid stuff like my bangs and insisting on wearing the same 2 outfits in a rotation fashion in fifth grade. I’m sorry for not volunteering to make dinner or to give you a weekly massage. I’m sorry for not daily telling you “thank you” and for not writing you love letters of amazingness.

“…grow a vagina”

One of my favorite quotes is from the Betty White: “Why do people say “Grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!”

Before I had children, I lacked in the assertiveness category. I would be pretty agreeable and meek. I still find my old self trying to peek through every now and again, but I beat her back down to submission. She’s knows her place now. I mean, I’m still the core essence of who I’ve always been just with a little mama bear in me. I guess you could say I did grow one. This is a good thing.

“laundry:the immortal”

I’ll conclude pt.1 with this…yes, I agree…laundry is such a blessing. Why? Because of the abundance of fabric we get the privilege of covering ourselves with. I do try so hard….so so so so so hard to look at every item as a happy blessing to handle 4 times from inserting it into the washer to last caress as I lie it in its proper space. It just never ends…never everevereverever. It’s why I’m so dead serious about moving to Fiji. To wear nature and never have to wash a stitch of clothing again! Banana leaves. Coconut shells. Hibiscus. That’s what’s up. But, alas, until then, I’ll slave away daily…..ah, laundry. you will never die. It’s the only thing that would keep this baby/child lovin’ mama from wanting more children. Just the laundry. That’s it. Nothing else would scare me. Nothing.

….to be continued….